Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Fall Back, Spring Ahead

I love having the sun get up with me in the morning. The morning is so much better with sunlight than in the dark. Moreover, the change of time in the fall is the best, is it not? We gain an hour instead of losing an hour.

What would you do if you could have an extra hour in the day? How would you use it? What would you do if you had twenty-five hours each day instead of twenty-four. Would you use it to do more of the things you already do now? That way you could finally catch up or do better work, take more time and not rush.

On the other hand, would you do things that you do not have time for now? Add things to your schedule and stay just as busy but become even more productive with one hour more worth of productivity? Packing as much into life as you can include in the extra hour?

Alternatively, would you consider that extra hour such an incredible special bonus that you would not mingle it with regular time and spoil it by using it for usual 24/7 tasks, but rather, would you dedicate the special extra hour to things that you would never have done if you did not have the extra time?

Things people would say you would be crazy for doing, or wasting time doing, that would not seem to make sense or seem responsible. But with bonus time, free time, time no one could say anything about, guilt-free time, what then?

Would you use it to sleep more? Read more? Watch TV? Write? Do art? Play? See movies? Do nothing? Would you create? Would you go back to what it was like when you were a kid, when everyone could create? When everyone was an artist, a painter, a sculptor, a storyteller, an actor, a singer and a musician? Back when everyone was spontaneous, uninhibited and free?

Would you use that time to discover something about yourself that was lost, or something that has always been there, pushed aside, covered over, buried and pressed down by the weight of the real world, the adult world, adult responsibilities? When you grew up you left something behind, did you not, just as I did? Would you use that extra hour to go back and try to find it again?

Alas, I am talking fantasy. We are never going to get an extra hour. Am I right?

Oh come on now, we do too have an extra hour to do with whatever we want. Who says we need 25 hours in order to get an extra free hour? We can get an extra free hour out of 24 hours.

If our regular day had been 23 hours long instead of 24 hours then my fantasy would be wishing I had an extra 24th hour. We are already living that fantasy! We have an extra free bonus hour! The 24th hour of our 24-hour day is the free bonus hour!

What are you doing with your extra hour?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Remarkable Women

I saw my daughter this weekend. She is in the third year of Veterinary School. Today she has an Internal Medicine exam. We spent a lot of time together over the weekend even though she had to do some studying for the examination.

My daughter is a remarkable woman. She runs a beautiful home. It looks good. It feels good. It is a comfortable place to be. It exudes love. It is a peaceful, warm and fun place, where you just want to snuggle in and stay for a while.

She runs a small business on the side. She rents rooms out to college students. And despite the layers of complexity and complications it adds to her life, she brings her gifts, hospitality, mercy and giving, to make a ministry of service more like a home.

She lives the adventure of life as the wife of a fierce and powerful man. They face together the challenges that come while forging a relationship that will stand against any onslaught that would come against them.

She loves her animals because very simply, she loves. It is something of her essence. A God given thing of beauty placed to shine and radiate from her to reflect his glory. And soon, longer than she would like and sooner than she realizes, her love will be able to extend to a new life that will spring from the love that she holds between her and her husband.

Now, she pours every ounce of ability and talent God gave her into overcoming the obstacles in her path to becoming a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. A goal that exists in the rarified air of the tallest mountain peaks of the earth, but which is obtainable with the greatest of effort, sacrifice and perseverance. She possesses sufficient measures of such. There are days she falters, but who would not? She re-gathers herself and moves forward again. As I said, my daughter is a remarkable woman.

My daughter is at the same point in her life that her mother was when her mother conceived her. October of 1981, her mother was also in the fall quarter of the third year of medical school. She was one year older, but at the same point in her training, at the same point in her life experience. I found some photographs taken two weeks before Kristin first came into being. We thought it was remarkable how alike Kristin and Cindie resemble each other.

It is no wonder. Kristin's mother is also a remarkable woman. I will save that discussion for another day.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Yond Evan Lean & Hungry

Today we go to Ames to see our children. We are going to celebrate the birth and the life of Evan, the husband of my daughter, the man she chose to be my new son.

He is an extraordinary man, kind, gentle and strong. I would have him at my side if times were ever to get desperate. Passionate, profound and deep, I would say as Shakespeare in Julius Caesar, "Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; He thinks too much: such men are dangerous."

Yes Evan, I would have you dangerous, wild and fierce. You who matters. You who is indelible. You are my son. I honor you and your life and celebrate the day of your birth.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Touching Wildness

The morning is dark. The dusk comes quickly again. Dead brown crunchy leaves cover the ground everywhere. The cool air seems crisp, heavy, always moving. Nothing is growing anymore.

Thin twigs and branches now frame blue, where once stretches of variegated green obscured the view. The sky seems massive. Everything seems exposed, naked. Hiding places have withered. Sheltered spots seem open.

Moving about in this dead brown crispy world is noisy. The softness of things is gone. However, everything seems more acute. Sound carries farther. Color is more intense. Scent is more discernable. That flicker of movement just out of the edge of sight catches attention.

I am fully alert, fully present, connected to my surroundings, aware of all. I hold my breath and listen. I tilt my head and watch. I wait. This place at this moment, is everything that exists. I am on a quest, a journey, seeking one of the most valuable things on earth, wildness.

I seek the wild animal, that most elusive, most distinctive of creatures, because a part of me is like that. Down in the heart of me, in the soul of me, wild, like the creature I seek. Not all of me is tame, and I would touch that part that is not. Today I will remember and return home the better for it, a better man, a better father.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Goodbye Dear Friend

My daughter lost a good friend yesterday. Even though we will all miss Jubilee, my heart hurts most for Kristin and the loss she must bear.

Juby came into her life eleven years ago at a time most crucial in the life of a young woman. They have journeyed together through the thick and the thin and her loss is hard felt.

Kristin's poignant and articulate post "Jubilee," THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 2006, expresses the unique and valuable relationship this canine critter has represented in her life. It could not have been said any better and makes for a fitting eulogy.

Kristin's description of their last moments together is wrenching. Who has not had the experience of having to say final good byes to someone they love very much? Very few things in life are more difficult.

We all love you very much Kristin. May God hold you in his arms and lift you up.

And Juby, wherever you might be, rest peacefully. You have launched your girl well. For she soars. She soars. Thank you furry friend. We will miss you.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Munching on the Duck

Whenever I go outside to do anything I take the dogs with me. I do whatever it is I need to do, they do dog stuff and we turn it into a social outing. Everybody has a good time.

Yesterday, when I got home from work, Leland, my neighbor, and I went out to move fence panels and the dogs came with us, as usual. I heard a commotion and looked up to spy our cute little Boxer puppy dragging a nearly full-grown duck across the front lawn.

Despite the fact that the duck was nearly as big as she was, and that it was flapping and protesting in as vigorous a duck way as it possibly could with feathers flying and all kinds of noise and ruckus, our little darling pup seemed to be impervious. She had what appeared to be a vice-like death grip on this unfortunate fowls hind end with set determination.

Several things registered in my mind instantly. In the past, watching the innocent, helpless little wannabe hunter chase the birds around had always been a funny sight. She was the "I think I can" Little Toot of the dog world. But it looks like our little girl is growing up. Chasing birds is no longer funny business; she can obviously catch them.

Also, I had recently noticed that she had grown real live doggy chompers. What was my clue? All of a sudden, she is doing some serious damage to the furniture instead of just slobbering on things and gumming on stuff. I looked in her mouth and saw some impressive canines poking out. I think the duck would also attest that the new teeth work well, since it is now on the receiving end of being munched on.

So, instant awareness. Our sweet puppy can now catch ducks and can damage ducks. And the ducks cannot defend themselves or get away. I told Leland, "Here, hold this panel for me a second. I have to go save that duck."

As I am on my way over to our dog Penny, I shout out to her, "No!" She sees me coming out of the corner of her eye, and hears me say, "No!" and she lets go of the duck! I am surprised. The duck frantically, hysterically, starts flapping around; I am sure thinking, "Free! Free! Got to get away!"

I am thinking, "Boy that was easy, Penny let go right away, as soon as I told her to." Well, not so easy. As soon as the hapless bird made a dash for it, Penny reacted, pounced, chomped and proudly stood up with the bird hanging from her mouth; I am sure thinking, "Hah, got you again!"

I, still out of rescue range, yelled again, "No!" whereupon she again dropped the feathered prey, who again made an attempt at escape. This triggered yet another recapture by our surprisingly adept bird catching young dog. This, no doubt comical, albeit somewhat tragic, at least for the duck, dance actually played out two more times before I reached the scene.

I scooped up our canine offender, incriminating feathers still hanging from her mouth, and took her back into the house. When I came back out to finish helping Leland with the fence panels I noticed that the duck was still alive, but moving slowly.

Obviously, our dog does not understand. This is a proud moment for her. She finally caught one of the bastards. Now she wants to figure out what a dog does with a bird when you catch one. We do not want her to figure that one out. That can be an unsolved mystery in her little doggy mind.

Our distress over the matter must be confusing to her. I realize now that letting our little puppy chase birds has not been harmless fun. We have been done in. She has become a serious threat and the lesson needs to be undone. She must learn that ducks are off limits.

Then there is the reality check that every parent faces. Our baby is not a baby any more. You blink, and they have grown up. Where does the time go? Cindie and I have been sorting through old photos. When we raised our family, when we had our kids, we savored all the moments, we smelled all the roses and we have no regrets. It is a wonderful thing, a great blessing as we reflect back. But boy, oh boy, it all seemed to go by so fast.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Things I Do Not Like

• Weeds that have sharp pointy thorns.
• Commercials.
• Doing paperwork that no one is ever going to read.
• Short yellow lights.
• Long red lights.
• The wind chill factor.
• The unpleasant way a bathroom smells after someone has just used it.
• Pouring a bowl of cereal and then finding out the milk is all gone.
• Humidity.
• Digging dirt.
• That annoying telephone voice that says, "If you would like to make a call, please hang up and dial again..."
• Beets.
• Being told what to do.
• Arriving early at anything.
• Small talk.
• Bullies.
• Shopping for clothes.
• Telling patients they have cancer.
• Going to work before it gets light and coming home after it gets dark.
• Not seeing my kids for a long time.
• When the dog takes a dump on the carpet.
Unknown carnivores eating my chickens.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Things I Like

• A soft warm Boxer face smushed up in my hands.
• A grilled cheese melted just right and crispy when I bite into it.
• The fizzyness of Coke on the roof of my mouth as I swallow it.
• The silence just before the conductor starts the orchestra.
• The smell of the cold morning air just before the sun comes up.
• The little stuffy sounds babies make breathing through their noses.
• Dimples.
• The sound of Cindie laughing.
• Finding a "Star Gate" rerun I have not yet seen.
• Getting the checkbook to balance on the first try.
• A Fuddruckers burger with Real Mayonnaise dripping out the edges.
• Getting a patient better.
• Seeing my kids.
• Sleeping just a little longer.
• Being right.
• Hearing a dog bark three miles away on a clear calm night.
• Filling my tag.
• Having one of my sons fill my tag!
• Phones playing songs instead of ringing.
• Going out to eat.
• Surprises.
• Hugs.