Needle in a Haystack

Our two dogs were outside playing around yesterday. When I went out, I noticed that the puppy, which is now a precocious adolescent in the accelerated lifetime of dog years, was happily running around without her collar. Aside from being a nice colorful collar that is a good accent for the rest of her outfit, it had attached to it her dog tag things. You know, the jingly things that have the names, numbers, vet stuff, vaccines, licenses, I'm not sure all what, but I know it is important enough that if it gets lost we have to get replacements.

Can you tell I am not the one who handles the technical stuff about the animals around here? There is a good reason for that. There are plenty of people around here that like that stuff, and are good at it, so they take care of it. Then I can do other things, like catch cats and peacocks and bend basketball hoops to heck.

I have noticed lately that our two dogs have gotten into this game of grabbing each other's collars and playing tug of war. A pleasant and harmless doggy pastime I used to say. But not now. Could it be that there has been a conspiracy all along? "Hey pal! You pull mine off, I'll pull yours off!" "Deal!"

We live on nearly ten acres of land. When I lose something, I retrace my steps and the lost items usually turn up. I did a walk around the place with the dogs tagging along, trying to retrace their steps, trying to think like a dog, trying to be like a dog whisperer. I think the dogs were laughing at me. Dogs laugh, don't they? At least they sure seem like they are happy all of the time.

What are the odds that I will ever see that collar again? How long will I be hunting around for it before I finally give up? These are questions to ponder.

Last night, as per our usual routine, I politely requested that our little Miss puppy place her little toosh into her kennel for bedtime. She stood there for a moment considering my request, and then decided that she did not want to comply. This is not an acceptable response; she was not offered that option. I, as her pack leader, reached over for her...aaah, no collar. She pranced away, head held high, without any jingles around her neck, so proud of herself. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see our other dog look over and I could just hear him thinking, "Tomorrow, we get rid of mine!"